Passion Sundays

How to Connect with Anyone: Approach People Correctly

People Interpreter Allison Mooney says we can get close to anyone if we communicate according to their personality.

Frustrated because you just can’t get along with some people? You can click with anyone if you care for their inherent psychological needs.
Allison Mooney is a People Interpreter for a good reason: she can quickly determine a person’s personality and speak to him/her accordingly. She also authored a best-selling book called ‘Pressing the Right Buttons’, where she gives details about her methods.
‘We are born with a personality. It’s in your DNA.’ Allison says there are 4 personalities: ‘the playful, the powerful, the peaceful and the precise‘. Each one has its own characteristics.
Press people’s right buttons to get close to them. We can connect and understand each other if we address people in a way that makes them want to engage.
‘In you there is a tank‘. When it’s full, you love life.
Be passionate and aim for balance! Then you’ll always have your tank full and enjoy life!
Want to learn more fascinating psychological facts? Click here now and don’t forget to share it with your friends. Spread the passion.

Live Passionately

Moustafa Hamwi
Passionpreneur & Chief Energy Officer
Award Winning Author & Speaker

TRANSCRIPT:

Moustafa:       Hello everybody and welcome back to Passion Sundays, the best way to end a week and start another! Our guest today has been called ‘The People Interpreter’. She’s authored a best-selling book ‘Pressing the Right Buttons’ – Alison Mooney, all the way from New Zealand!
Allison:            Hello, Moustafa!
Moustafa:       Allison, thank you very much for joining us today!
Allison:            Same!
Moustafa:       You’re probably the first Kiwi that I’ve got on the show.
Allison:            Oh, good!
Moustafa:       And your topic is phenomenal! I mean, pressing the right buttons. People usually get their buttons pushed, but I like that pressing the right buttons. So tell me more about that!
Allison:            Well, when I was 40 it was an epiphany for me. I was in a marriage that I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to be in. Seven years later I am still in the marriage because I found a tool that transformed my life.
Moustafa:       Wow!
Allison:            So I speak… You talk about passion? I speak about passion. There has been a transformation experience in my life that got me closer to my husband. I took it to business and even with my staff, I was able to get them closer and get them engaged, to love coming to work. We need to have those kind of tools and it’s around personality that I speak to. We all have different personalities and if we could speak to that personality, then you connect.
Moustafa:       Wow… I love… I was getting goose bumps when you said that because the next thing I was expecting you were gonna say that the marriage ended and actually what you say is no, you took that challenge and turn it around.
Allison:            And I appreciate the love factor that would have helped in that but I’m sure there is something much bigger than that. It was about your own transformation. Yes, it was, it was. And because of that and learning and growing about the personalities, it’s so different. As I travel the world, I hear people say ‘we’re so different in our marriage and the only thing we’ve got in common is that we got married in the same day. That’s the only commonality’. But sometimes, most often you are drawn to an opposite. And that completes you and when we learn to respect each other’s differences, then there is no divide.
Moustafa:       Wow!
Allison:            He is still different from me. He still can frustrate me but I love who he is because he is my grounding force. I’m wildly out there, love life and he’s the out who is a little bit cautious which used to frustrate me but I know I need that in my life or else I burn out.
Moustafa:       How did that help you understand which buttons to press? Because it’s easy to say: ‘Ok, I understand that the other person is what I need in life’ but we don’t always understand how to handle what we need.
Allison:            Well, it’s an understanding. We are born with a personality. It’s in your DNA. I’m looking at you right now and I’m assuming that you might be the playful out there, love life, love people. Now there are people who love tasks more than people. My husband is a task person. So allowing him and respecting him in what he does. But he also learns to respect me and we, as we grew in this, as we understood the 4 personalities that are out there: there is the playful, the powerful, the peaceful and the precise. Now I help people read them by giving them what they need. Because in you there is a tank. And it gets you out of bed, it’s your motivational tank and if I can fill your tank, you will love life. You’ve learned to fill your own tank, Moustafa. You love life, you’ve learned how to do that. But there is a lot of our viewers that are not getting their tanks full. And I call it the AIDS epidemic. We are Alienated from each other, Isolated, Dislocated, Separated. How can we get that connect? I think this is a great  model that helps us to do that. It’s the how to in getting close to people.
Moustafa:       I am getting goose bumps as you’re talking because as simple as you’re saying it is pressing the right buttons in me talking. I’m getting this feeling that there is something here that sets in. And this is beautiful coming from you because you’re obviously now in a beautiful space where you are able to share. But my question is to a lot of people who are being challenged in that area, who are having their own issues to deal with it. So a lot of times we like to feel people’s tanks but people push back at us. You say ‘good morning’ to someone, they don’t respond or they are angry and they are getting their anger out on you. How can you press the right button to somebody who pressed the wrong button in you?
Allison:            Well, that’s true. We do have those moments. I set in a taxi cab yesterday and I talked to the lady in the cab. She said: ‘There are some people who get into this car and do not want to talk to me. Just be quiet, lady!’ but you see, when you know a personality you respect that. There is the powerful type that don’t want small talk. They just want it short to the point and want outcomes. So when you know this model, you talk the language and the hearer understands. So even these angry people around, it’s usually because their tank is empty. You start filling the tank. Now, could I just take a step back, Moustafa and let’s just qualify who you are? I am wondering, there is two types of person that you could be. You could be the beautiful precise. Are you a tidy, organized, analytical person? Do you get your energy from being alone or with people? That’s my question.
Moustafa:       For me, I’ve got both. My fiancé says I’ve got both extremes.
Allison:            Both extremes…
Moustafa:       I’m meticulous, I’m OCD on details. I love everything to be in the right place. I like to be with people, I like to be alone. When I’m doing something, I do it with passion.
Allison:            Yes.
Moustafa:       If I want to be alone, I really want to be alone. I bought a one-way ticket to India.
Allison:            Wow!
Moustafa:       When I’m with people, I want thousands of people around me to liven up the stage. I honor and acknowledge that.
Allison:            At the end of the day, you still need that. So you restore your soul by being alone. You love people, you could be in the theater of life and absolutely take every moment as it comes. But you would probably cut off at a time: I need self-care. So you probably need that time alone. Now there are some people who are getting the energy by always being with some people. Being alone is like you are not very popular.
Moustafa:       Yeah.
Allison:            So I’m assuming with the beautiful way you are dressed, meticulous that you might be a precise. So what a precise needs to fill the tank is space, silence, sensitivity and support. You are passionate about life. Yes, that’s great! But this i what you need and I need to speak there. Your significant other needs to think about that as you go together in life. Now, I need attention, affection, approval and acceptance.
Moustafa:       Interesting…
Allison:            Because I’m a playful. Now I’ve learned to fill my own tank and that’s called wisdom. We can have passion but wisdom is bigger, higher.
Moustafa:       I love that!
Allison:            So I’ve learned through understanding it all that I know who I am and I don’t have to seek that from people. So I get up every morning knowing that my tank is full. I’ve got now more meaning in my life because I want to fill your tank. I want to connect with you. I want you to go away from me remembering who I am because I’ve loved on you the way you need loving on.
Moustafa:       So basically what you’re saying is people fill their tank with the opposite of what they’re putting out there. So if I’m meticulous on stage, I fill my tank by being alone.
Allison:            That’s right, yes!
Moustafa:       And for you, you are very outgoing and you want to be loved and taken care of to be able to fill your tank.
Allison:            Yes, yes.
Moustafa:       That’s interesting!
Allison:            The powerful. Do you know how they fill their tank? Recognition, appreciation, loyalty.
Moustafa:       Wow!
Allison:            They want to be known for what they do. And then there is this beautiful peaceful. They want to be respected for who they are – the human being. The powerful – the human machine. There are these 4 dominances. We can’t blind. I’m sure you are a blind. I’m a blind as well. So understanding this takes the lid off. So when we are near these angry people in your life and you’re coming up against a brick wall, you can take a step back and have a little laugh inside to say: ‘you know, there’s pain… I wonder why there’s pain. Maybe if I fill their tank they will realign themselves’. That’s the secret! The mystery of mind.
Moustafa:       That’s an interesting perspective on being… I’ve heard in a lot of interviews that I’ve done on leadership being other-centered but this is probably one of the first times when I understand how to be other-centered.
Allison:            It’s the outer!
Moustafa:       The outer, ok, I like that.
Allison:            And the ‘Why?’ Why should we?’ because if I keep going through life like I was wanting what I wanted and I was giving it to him, but it burst. Because he didn’t want that. He wants to be respected and valued. I’ve learned to do that. That’s all he wants in life. Easy! It’s a simple model – transformational!
Moustafa:       Allison, you’ve definitely pressed all the right buttons in me and probably with all the audience. Thank you very much for being with us today!
Allison:            Thank you! Thank you!
Moustafa:       Appreciate it!
Allison:            A pleasure to meet you, Moustafa!
Moustafa:       The pleasure was mine!
Moustafa and Allison:           Passion!
Moustafa:       What do you think? I would really love to hear your opinion so if you’ve found this episode as fun as I did, please leave your comments on the blog below and do share it and spread the passion! And if you’d like more tools, tips, techniques and exclusive interviews that I only share on my website, go to Moustafa.com. Until next episode – live passionately!

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Hi, I’m Moustafa

Dubai’s real-life “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.” On a one-way ticket to India, I’ve gone from meeting a Swami out of 13 years in caves, to natural healing from a disease to become the Passionpreneur. I’m an international speaker and coach helping people find and pursue passion.

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