World’s leading expert on Family Dynamics Svagito Liebermeister says most interpersonal challenges are tied to our early relationships with our parents.
How does passion create better relationships? The answer might surprise you!
Svagito Liebermeister is a leading expert on family dynamics. He says most interpersonal problems are tied to our early relationships with our parents.
When people feel driven in their lives—to the point of endless exertion and burnout—Svagito says it’s usually rooted in old patterns of seeking acknowledgment from a parent.
The solution lies in passion…but maybe not in the way you think!
“My passion is meditation,” Svagito says. People usually associate passion with drive and ambition, but meditation can transform these into a cool, calming energy that nurtures peace and compassion.
Meditation helps people see their parents and childhoods more clearly, and develop gratitude for the gifts they received–even along with loss.
As understanding of our parents grows, Svagito says, “we learn to connect to them in healthier ways.” And this can begin to transform all our relationships for the better.
Would you like to learn more about the passion in compassion? Watch here, and don’t forget to share it around and spread the passion.
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Moustafa: Hello everyone and welcome back to Passion Sundays, the best way to end the week and start another.
Our guest today is one of the world’s leading experts on family dynamics. He’s been traveling the world helping them meditate, bond and have amazing relationships,
Svagito. Thank you very much for being with us today.
Svagito: Thank you. Hello!
Moustafa: Really appreciate it!
Svagito: Nice to meet you!
Moustafa: Thank you! Ah what an interesting topic, family dynamics. Tell us more about that first.
Svagito: Well, we are born to ah parents and in a family and obviously we have all our problems in some way and something to do with our parents and resolve family past. So we look at that and we look how we are connected to our parents and to our family and how to be connected to them in a more healthy way.
Because norm-normally we are really, we have a difficult relationship to them and we find ah more healthy loving connection to them and then we have strengths in our life and we can move forward and we are not bonded to or bound by the past.
Moustafa: Nice and ah talk, let’s talk about passion for a moment, what does passion mean to you?
Svagito: Well in fact ah I thought about it because it’s your topic here and for me actually my passion is meditation. And it’s actually con-contradiction because when you meditate, passion turns into compassion. And so really I’m more interested in compassion! That it’s a love, that it has a compassion. And that means when you meditate you become more calm, you become more peaceful, you can find more quiet and you become less ambitious.
So I’m more interested in this kind of state where your ambition turns into peacefulness and relaxation and you have an inner space and then compassion develops.
Moustafa: Amazing! And I mean I would say that is an interesting angle on passion, cause usually a lot of people are thinking passion is just purely drive.
Svagito: That’s right!
Moustafa: You’re talking about how passion can be…
Svagito: That’s right!
Svagito: Because for me, this drive is okay but it is actually when you look at it. If you become more mature this drive settles down and you become peaceful like all wise people.
Svagito: Their drive turned into something peaceful.
Moustafa: Umm amazing! And how important it is to have passion and compassion in life to be able to move forward to?
Svagito: Well passion basically means for me in that sense. You have a love in what you do. But it’s not this hot kind of love…
Svagito: Where you want to go for it. But it’s a kind of cool kind of love…
Svagito: Where you can settle inside. You have a coolness, calmness and you have love for what you do. And I love what I do and for me this is more the point.
Moustafa: And how did you end up doing what you’re doing?
Svagito: Well ah very early in my life I became interested in meditation.
Svagito: And then I was searching and I’m now, I’m since thirty five years as an enlightened master will taught me meditation and basically transformed my life. Now I’m doing my work of therapy and family dynamics with this background. Not with the idea of going for something or changing yourself in this kind of ambitious way but, more from a space where you look inside and you become yourself and you become more conscious of who you really are.
Moustafa: Amazing! And obviously whether passion or compassion it’s very easy to have these things when everything is nice. But when times are tough, tapping inside you to find the passion or compassion is very tough. How do you find that?
Svagito: Well basically one should practice it when one has a good time.
Svagito: So when you are in love and you are happy that’s the moment to meditate and then this quality stays with you when you have a tough time. When you start meditating when you have a tough time it’s really hard, it’s not easy. But if you practice that quality and then when the tough time comes, because it always comes at some point, then this quality stays with you and it helps you to pass through that period also.
Moustafa: Amazing! And how do you then also when you get out of tough times sometimes even in the good times you get burnout. If you are passionate and you love what you do, you’re traveling the world, you’re doing all of this amazing work, you know, you suddenly feel you wanna do more, more, more, more, there must be a burnout at the end of it.
Svagito: And well that depends! For me, coming back to family dynamics, burnout has something to do that you put yourself into the place of something else, somebody else, and usually it’s one of your parents. You want to prove something.
Svagito: Or you want to get some more love or some acknowledgment from them and then you try hard. So a lot of trying comes from that. Still wanting the love that you always didn’t get from your parents.
Svagito: To trying to get it now. And that’s drives you to do and do and do and do in order to get love and to be loved. And when you start looking inside you, find the love inside yourself then, you don’t try to get it from anybody else anymore and then there’s no burnout.
Moustafa: Beautiful! And how do you bring passion back into now that you’ve tapped into the parental relationship? How do you bring the passion back into the parents’ relationship and more importantly, how do you not carry the imprints from previous relationships moving forward?
Svagito: Well you bring the quality by learning to see what happened and to get a sense of gratitude for what you have received. And things got settling down and that is toward your parents and that is also towards any previous partner. Because in a way, you can move forward only if you have completed something from before and that can happen only if you’ll get a sense of gratitude and the BPS to what happened.
Moustafa: So we bring passion into relationships while being grateful for what we have regardless of how it turned out?
Svagito: That’s right! Because when your understanding deepens, even if you didn’t get what you really wanted, there is still something that you did get. And to acknowledge that and to feel thankful for that and what you didn’t get means, that gives you chance for growth and for learning. Because if you did get everything what you wanted, there’s no chance for learning anything.
Svagito: You’re basically like children who get everything from their parents and don’t develop any intelligence. Because they don’t need it, they got everything! So by not getting something, you develop your own strength and if you understand this, then you will even finally be grateful if you didn’t get what you wanted at that moment. And it takes of course some awareness and consciousness but one can move in that direction.
Moustafa: I love it! Amazing! Svagito, thank you very much for this amazing interview…
Svagito: You too thank you very much!
Moustafa: Thank you!
Svagito: Nice meeting you!
Moustafa: Thank you!
Moustafa and Svagito: Passion!
Moustafa: What do you think? I would really love to hear your opinion. If you found this episode useful, write your comments on the blog below and do share it with your friends. And if you’d like more tools, tips, techniques and exclusive interviews that I only share on my website, go to Moustafa.com. And until next episode, live passionately!