They say that perception is nine-tenths of reality. I am a firm believer that this is true. The stories we tell ourselves are powerful. Are you the villain? The victim? The superhero? Are you unlucky? Lucky beyond belief? Or did your hard work get you to where you are? Is everyone against you, or is the universe colluding for your good? 

The answers to all these questions lie in the stories you tell yourself. You are the author. No one else is. Its just like Don Miguel Ruiz says: “You create your story, you live in that story, and if you don’t like the story, only you can change it.”

In doing that, you change your world. In this blog, and the ones that follow, I’m going to take you through a four-step process that will help you honour your struggle, find out what is holding you back and turn those lessons into remarkable wisdom. 

I’m not going to lie – this takes energy and a lot of it. But keep in mind that you are a human power plant. You can create energy too. You may feel vulnerable as you answer, so be gentle and loving with yourself as you confront the things that lie deep beneath the surface of your thinking. 

Are you ready? Before we start the healing process, you need to ask yourself some important questions. The first one is this…

What is your story?

Let’s start with a fun reflection: If your life was a movie, what genre would it be? 

• Drama? 
• Comedy? 
• Tragedy? 
• Romance? 
• Adventure? 
• A combination? Which combination? 

Next question: what would the title of your movie be? 

I’ve thought long and hard about this one, and I’d say my life is an adventure. I like to say that it truly is A Life To Die For. But at one point, I’d have called it Dreams Broken on the Shores of Reality. When this was my story and my personal movie title, my life was manifesting in that way. So let the questions I’ve just asked you really sink deep. What is the story you are telling yourself about why you aren’t living the life of your dreams? 

I’m about to give you some prompts to think about. If you’d like, you can download the worksheet here to give you a more structured way to work through it. Before I went on my journey of transformation, my story was like this: “I am a failure in life because my family never invested in sending me to a proper university, my social setting was closed-minded, and I wasn’t living in a place where I was learning and advancing. I worked for a small company that didn’t allow me the right opportunities in the way I wanted. My life revolved around my responsibilities and didn’t satisfy me.”

Take some time to answer these prompts and go deep into the story you are really telling yourself: 

I AM…

BECAUSE MY FAMILY…

MY SOCIAL SETTING…

MY WORK…

MY RESPONSIBILITIES …

OTHER FACTORS…

Can you see the story you are telling yourself? Are there things that you need to dive into more deeply? Make sure you spend the needed time and energy on this exercise. It may be emotional. It was for me! I realised that there were themes about always blaming others for the screw-ups in my life. I blamed my surroundings, my workplace and the people in my life for not supporting me and resented my responsibilities. All of this was the reason I couldn’t succeed. This was why I was a victim. 

At least that’s the story I was telling myself.  But did I have to stay a victim? Or could I change the way my story was written? I hope you can see the answer already. 

Before we delve into that, though, it is time to look at the story you are currently. I want you to think about the two or three recurring themes that kept coming up in your story. 

MOST RECURRING

SECOND MOST RECURRING 

THIRD MOST RECURRING

I hope that, by now, you can see how the story you are telling yourself is powerful. It forms the basis for your beliefs about yourself and your future. But it can also be transformed when we begin to look at how we frame up certain events. We can do this by raising the subconscious story to the level of conscious thought, by finding the recurring themes, and by naming it for what it is. 

This is step one. We are about to go to step two. This might blow your mind. 

I’m going to teach you how to appreciate your past. 

You may feel vulnerable now. But remember, you are a powerhouse. You are the author of your story. You are learning right now that you can choose what you write. 

Let's go to the next step on the journey. You’ve got this. And I’m here to guide you

Moustafa Hawmi 

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