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Why Healing Your Past is Vital: Don’t drag the worst of your past into the best of your future

April 11, 2024

I’ll never forget reading a Rick Warren quote: "We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it." To me, the logic seemed simple, and yet so many people in my life were prisoners of it.

So was I, for a time. That’s what led me to sell everything I had, get rid of all my earthly possessions and book a one-way ticket to India on a deep journey of self-discovery and healing. I needed to stop being a prisoner of my past. But I felt like something was missing from Rick Warrens quote. What next? If you aren’t a prisoner of your past, what can you be?

Over the years, I've come to realize that many individuals, including past versions of me, find themselves entangled in their own stories for prolonged periods. We almost get addicted to that rush of negative emotion – the angst, the drama, the tears and even sometimes the attention. There’s something about it that makes us feel justified or seen. 

While feeling emotions is a natural part of being human, getting stuck in these narratives for too long is doesn’t have to be. It holds you back from the future you can have, and it has the potential to sabotage your present, negatively affecting your career, relationships and health. 

That’s three good reasons to heal your past, right? This blog delves into the importance of not letting your trauma become your drama and emphasizes the significance of healing your past for a more passionate and purposeful life.

Don’t let your trauma become your drama.

The journey towards healing your past is not a casual stroll; it's a profound undertaking that requires courage, humility, and discipline. But it doesn’t have to be a never-ending naval gaze that drags you down into the mire of intense feelings and never lets you out.

The most profound healing recipe I’ve ever encountered started with just three ingredients. If a person has these, they can achieve anything – from healing, to mastery, to great heights of success. As Dr. Marshall Goldsmith teaches, the process demands:

- Courage: To confront your results and take ownership.
- Humility:
To seek help when needed.
- Discipline:
To commit to the necessary work without excuses.

I’ve built my life and my businesses around this. Courage, humility, discipline. It's not easy, but it is simple, and I have seen its power over and over again. But in order to harness the power of these three words, the words of Dr. Demartini need to become a personal mantra.  

"I am the master of my destiny, not a victim of my history. I have courage, humility, and discipline."

This mantra isn't just a catchy phrase for social media; it's a constant reminder that will guide you through the depths of your healing process, helping you achieve the mastery you seek.

The Slingshot Healing Philosophy

In putting together The Slingshot Method, I’ve worked on some healing exercises that draw from the best practices I've encountered worldwide, attributing credit to my healers, teachers, and mentors. Dr. John Demartini, a renowned human behavior specialist, simplifies this healing philosophy: "Look at how your life serves you; it's on-the-way, not in-the-way. Be a master of your destiny; it's your choice."

What does this mean? It means that everything about our life serves us in some way. Recognising that can be the first step to changing, because it allows us to replace that with better ways. For example, maybe you smoke cigarettes. You might think this doesn’t serve you, but it does in some way at least. 

  • Maybe it allows you to make friends as people chat in smoking circles
  • Maybe it allows you to have more breaks from your desk
  • Maybe it helps you keep your weight down because you don’t snack as much. 

Of course, it’s killing your lungs and costing you money. But recognising the benefits you get means you can replace them with other ways to get that. By doing so you can attack your smoking habit with a new chance at success. Maybe you can make more conscious investment into friendships and health. Maybe you can take stretching breaks instead. But you can’t break the habit until you know why its there. 

The healing process involves taking a step back before moving two steps forward. The key steps include:

1. Writing Your Story

Changing your story is tantamount to changing your life. This involves a conscious effort to reshape the narrative that has been holding you back.

2. Appreciating Your Past

Honoring your struggles and appreciating the lessons learned from them. Your past, with all its challenges, has played a pivotal role in shaping who you are today.

3. Understanding What Holds You Back

Identifying and comprehending the factors that impede your progress. This step involves a deep introspection into your own patterns and conditioning.

4. Releasing Negative Emotional Baggage

Acknowledging that mistakes are part of life's learning process. Releasing emotional baggage is crucial for unburdening yourself from past hurts.

5. Learning from the Past to Slingshot into the Future

Transforming life's lessons into wisdom and rewriting your story. The past should be a source of growth, not a chain that keeps you tethered.

I get that these steps can seem confronting. If so, I urge you to get your copy of my book so you can really grab a hold of these lessons. I can guarantee you though, powerful breakthroughs await you if you can understand these concepts and put them to work in your life. 

Life Is Not Just Positive

Life's journey is marked by both positive and challenging experiences. While celebrating the positives is relatively straightforward, it's the difficulties and traumas that can become stumbling blocks if not addressed. Coping with traumatic events such as job loss, unrealized dreams, or the loss of a loved one can propel you into a web of depression, affecting your present and future possibilities.

That’s why I say, “Don't Let Your Trauma Become Your Drama.”

Don’t stay addicted to what you get out of staying engaged with the traumas of the past. But it begs the question – are you ready to learn from it, alchemise it, and let it go? Are you ready to slingshot?

The pivotal message here is clear: if you remain ensnared in your past, you'll struggle to find a new future. Unresolved patterns from times of heartbreak or trauma can become repetitive, leading you back to familiar and often unhealthy territory. Whether it's toxic relationships or persistent financial habits, breaking free from these cycles requires conscious resolution and a commitment to healing.

To gauge if you're trapped in past trauma, consider the following questions:

1. Have past experiences conditioned your mind and emotions in a way that hinders your progress?

   - Yes

   - Maybe

   - No

2. Do certain people or events trigger strong, unexplainable reactions from you?

   - Yes

   - Maybe

   - No

3. Are you holding onto fears and insecurities stemming from past experiences?

   - Yes

   - Maybe

   - No

4. Despite doing everything right, do you feel like 'something' is holding you back?

   - Yes

   - Maybe

   - No

Answering these questions honestly can be the first step in recognizing and addressing past trauma that may be lingering in your life.

Healing your past is not just an option; it's a transformative journey that opens the door to a future unburdened by the weight of unresolved trauma. 

The process demands courage, humility, and discipline, and it requires a commitment to breaking down old patterns, forgiving, and ultimately freeing yourself from the ties that bind you to the past. As you embark on this journey, remember: "I am the master of my destiny, not a victim of my history." Through this commitment, you can slingshot yourself into a future filled with newfound possibilities, resilience, and joy.

You can do it. I believe in you. 

Moustafa Hawmi 

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Moustafa Hamwi - Keynote Speaker, Coach, Author